” I’m a take-no-prisoners type of comic, and I’m lucky because my fans get me and never have a problem with the politically incorrect themes of my act. We need to open our hearts and our minds to them, and we just may learn we’re pretty much all the same.” -Lisa Lampanelli These people should be helped, embraced, and not dismissed. They are people just like every single one of us, and each has a story to tell. ”People with HIV and AIDS are nothing to be afraid of. ”When I say I’m going gangster, I’m working really hard at something.” -Lisa Lampanelli “I’m decorating my parents’ house for Christmas… I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do!” But then the idea is you have to eat such a small portion of it and bring the rest home.” -Lisa Lampanelli ” I always order soup, dessert, and a sandwich or whatever main course. ”Andy Dick is so gay, he thinks Margaret Cho is funny.” -Lisa Lampanelli ”Betty White is so old that on her first game show ever, the prize was fire.” -Lisa Lampanelli “Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I hear his jokes it reminds me to wipe my ass.” ”I say every slur on the planet – racial, homosexual, everything to do with every ethnic group on the planet – and guess what? I will never apologize for that because I know why I do it, and it is to make a valid point about ignorance in this society.” -Lisa Lampanelli We’re just being who we are, and I think people like that.” -Lisa Lampanelli We’re not terrific people, and we’re not gonna win the beauty contest. ”With Don Rickles and me, we’re just telling the truth. Lisa Lampanelli Lisa Lampanelli Best Lines “ Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. “ I’m decorating my parents’ house for Christmas… I hope they find my manger with a baby yeezus in it as funny as I do! ” I’m sick and tired of menopause.” -Lisa Lampanelli ”I know Bea Arthur left the Pam Anderson roast really early, but it could have been because she was half dead I don’t know.” -Lisa Lampanelli “ A lot of comics just joke around, but it’s just as important to get the truth out there. “ Even going on stage is a service because it brings people up from thinking about their lost job or their lost spouse or something like that, so that even helps people when I’m doing comedy it’s all done to make them laugh. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me.” -Lisa Lampanelli ”The thing is, in the dating profiles it says ‘spiritual,’ but not with a specific religion. Looking for some Lisa Lamp an elli quotes ? We ‘ve got you covered ! Lisa Lamp an elli is known for her outrageous sense of humor, and these quotes show just that ! Lisa Lampanelli Quotes Guide to Food, Fitness, and Feeling Fab ulous and the best – selling I ‘m Sorry - You ‘re Not a Winner. Lamp an elli has also written three books : Chocolate, Please : My Adventures in Food, Fat, and Fre aks Skin ny B itch : A No – B. She has been featured on several television shows, including The Howard Stern Show, Chelsea L ately, and The Celebrity Apprentice. Lisa Lamp an elli is a stand – up comedian and author known for her insult comedy.
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